Thanksgiving

November 27, 2008 at 5:57 pm (blessings)
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I find myself today thinking about the past year of my life. The past year has been tremendously hard for my family yet I still have been so blessed. It feels bitter sweet. It has been amazing to see how God’s plan for me has unfolded. I am going to list some of the trials that I have experienced in the past year and along with those how they have also blesses, prepared me for, helped me cope with other things. It seems so matter-of-fact to list them but I don’t really know to explain it any other way so if any of this comes across as harsh that is not how I intend it at all.

1. My Grandma was diagnosed with cancer in September 2007 and passed away from it in July 2008. I was closer to my Grandma than any other grandparent and miss her more than I can ever express. But through her battle with cancer I have learned what loss feels like and that makes family that much more important to me. I loved her and have learned that family is everything to me.

2. Last spring I spent almost nine weeks wondering if I had thyroid cancer. I learned that no medical professional will care as much about your health as you do. You must be an advocate for yourself. If you don’t feel good and in your gut you know something is wrong PURSUE IT! Keep asking and pushing until you know you have an answer. I also learned that if you have a crappy doctor you can get a new one!

3. My job at ASU. Let me start by saying that I really enjoy my job but I did not want to go back to work in January. I desperately wanted to be at home with my daughter. I struggled with the guilt of not being at home with her and that I really enjoyed my job. It was hard for almost the first 5 months! Once I found a daycare that Rachel loved though it helped my guilt melt away. It has been amazing to see how God has provided for me with this job though. I have amazing co-workers who have been making my family dinner the weeks I have chemo, they have donated their vacation and sick time to me so that I may keep my salary, and the health benefits from ASU have been so good. All I have had to pay for with my cancer is the doctor visit co-pays and my prescription co-pays. I received an ‘invoice’ of all that my insurance has paid and just for the month of October BEFORE I started chemo it was $47,400.00. If I had to pay for this through my husbands insurance I would be paying around 20% of that.

These are just some of the lessons I have learned that I am thankful for this year. Some may have been hard God never said that we wouldn’t suffer and that life would be easy.

Here are some other things that I am thankful for:

-My beautiful little girl, Rachel

-My niece-to-be that is due in February

-My husband, who gives me amazing support and always makes me feel beautiful even in my worst days.

-My new sister-in-law Ashley

-My husbands side of the family who have chosen to love me. I am so blessed to have them. 

-Tyler’s Gran and Papa. Who without even thinking twice about it basically got in a car and came to stay with us while I go through chemo to take care of me.

-My family

-My incredible friends who are my rock (you all know who you are)

-This one is silly but wireless internet in the chemo room!!! It makes chemo go by so much faster!

-My house. I love my house and am extremely blessed to have it.

-There are so many more that I could be doing this all night so I will stop.

Thanks to everyone who takes the time to read about my life and comment on it. You all mean so much to me!

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My Many Blessings

November 3, 2008 at 12:58 pm (blessings)
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my familyYesterday my husband, Tyler, and I went on a micro mission with our church. We went several other people from our church to a homeless shelter to provide lunch for everyone living there as well as crafts for the children.

I have to say that we volunteered to do this last week when we found out about it but then on Sunday I was really tired and didn’t want to go, but we did. We made a commitment and I wanted to stick to it. I have found now that I get much more tired than normal because I am so limited on what I am allowed to do because of my hip. I am so happy about the decision to go though. I feel like we made a difference and it really showed me all that God has blessed me with over the past year.

BLESSING: My job at ASU/Co-Workers

When Tyler was laid off and I had to go back to work I was so unhappy about it and depressed for several months. I now see God’s plan for why I went back to work. God blessed me with my job at ASU and it is so clear now. In my department at ASU, The Global Institute of Sustainability, God provided with with amazing co-workers who have volunteered their sick and vacation hours to me. Thanks to my co-workers generosity and my short term disability I will have my full salary and benefits for the next six months! I found this out the day after I found out that I will have to have chemo for six months. How could I deny that was God providing for my family.

BLESSING: Health Benefits

Another blessing from having my full salary is that my benefits will remain exactly the same. I will not have to pay ASU’s portion to keep my benefits active. The only thing that I am having to pay is my normal monthly insurance premiums. Also, the benefits at ASU are so good that I have only had to pay doctor visit co-pays (never more than $20 each). I have not had to pay any deductibles, percentages, nothing! I have to pay my normal co-pays for medications. During the month of October I had three MRI’s, a PET Scan, MUGA Scan, Pulmonary Function Test, a nuclear medicine test, and 2 biopsies. If I had to pay a portion of any of that we would already have thousands of dollars in doctors bills. If we were on Tyler’s insurance we would be paying. So I am sure you can see how God providing me with a job at ASU has been a blessing on our finances. 

BLESSING: Family

Wow! I don’t really know where to begin about our family. My Mom was here for my most recent biopsy to help me and Tyler for that and now Tyler’s Gran and Papa are here staying with us for as long as we need. They have come to help take me to my treatments and help us with whatever we need. Tyler’s mom will be coming for the entire teacher Christmas break to help and then his aunt and other Granddad will be here after Christmas for a couple of weeks to give Tyler’s Gran and Papa a break for about a month. It is amazing to have so much family that cares about us because there are a lot of people who don’t know what’s it like t have family who love so unconditionally. 

BLESSING: Friends

When something like this happens it really shows you who your true friends are and can really surprise you who steps up to the plate unexpectedly. We have had such an outpour of support from our friends offering to do anything and everything I could ever imagine. My co-workers have organized to be able to provide meals for us on days that I have chemo and others as well. I know this sounds a little bad to say this way but I feel like I have done something right to have so many wonderful people in my life. It is so overwhelming (in a great way of course) to have so many people care so much!

I could go on and on about all of the blessing that have been revealed to me over the past month but these are just some of the major ones. I might have cancer but I am still blessed. It was really eye opening to see the homeless people that we helped yesterday. It really made me wonder what happened to each of them to end up homeless. Not that they did anything wrong especially with the current economy. It also makes you wonder if they have family and why was their family unable to help?  There were so many children there and I just wanted to bring each of them home and take care of them. I also caught myself yesterday when I saw a UHaul truck coming into Maricopa as we were leaving to go to church and my first thought was ‘I wonder if they lost their house or if they are just moving?’ It is so sad that was my first thought because a year ago it wouldn’t have been. We have been so blessed to be able to keep our house even though it has been a struggle this year. I just thank God everyday for all of my blessings. 

I have just found this verse to be so true as the past month has unfolded: “When you go through deep waters, I will be with you…” Isaiah 43:2, NLT. It is so true. God has been here every step of the way for me.

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